(no subject)

[cuttlefishcull]

When Sollux was thrown in the room Feferi crawled up immediately, grasping his arm despite the pain in her hand and burns. Her twin simply stood in the doorway, goggles obscuring her eyes as she looked on with a bright, sharp grin.

"You- you-" She tried to get up, tried to dash over and hurt her but the twin just laughs, slamming the door in her face. Feferi slides down it, choking back a sob before crawling back to Sollux, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"Sollux, Sollux..." She mutters. "Why, you-" She grits her teeth. "Stupid."

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I have no icons for this either :|

[cuttlefishcull.livejournal.com]

"You deserve this Sollux!" The twin sing songs over the sound of Feferi screaming at her. "Isn't this what you want? A way to relieve your guilt, you have so much of it! Now you can finally suffer for it the way you always deserved."

She leans in again, clamping Sollux's mouth shut as she whispers to him. "Do you think this is even close to what Aradia suffered? You know the week after my departure she heard Aradia's thoughts. It was just muffled sobbing, screaming, over and over."

The twin pulls back, grasping Sollux's jaw to keep him still once more. "Maybe I'll keep you alive, maybe you'll just have to live with this. You'll never be able to feel her touch again without thinking of me. Wouldn't that be exciting?"

And she starts on the other eye. Feferi stops screaming, stops begging, just sobs quietly and grits her teeth.

sorryyyyy

[psionichax0r]

Aradia. It had only been a couple of weeks since he'd spoken to her. In the flesh, even. She had been, well, lively, like her cheerful old self. She'd actually smiled, and Sollux couldn't remember the las time she'd done that. He'd talked to her and she'd told him what he'd always wanted to hear. That she didn't blame him. She had forgiven him so easily. He was surprised, but, glad. As the week wore on, he he started to think he could finally put all of it behind him. Move past the stupid guilt, forgive himself for all the stupid things he'd done, for all the times he couldn't help like he wanted to. For being dangerous and useless and not deserving to exist.

It was stupid really, he thought. He'd been stupid to be so hopeful. He'd never be able to put it behind him, and he shouldn't be. He'd always be useless, he'd always be dangerous, he'd always be her murderer. He'd made her suffer, it was his fault she'd been that way. Even if she said it was okay, how could he have ever thought anything could make up for that? She'd just been being kind to him. She was always kind, and thats how he'd repaid her. By burning her alive.

He was a useless asshole, and this was what he deserved. He couldn't even save Feferi, it turned out. Not even from someone like Eridan. Karkat was always getting used and torn apart by this place too. They all were, always, and he couldn't even do a single thing to help any of them. Feferi didn't even believe in him enough to tell him the truth. To tell him what she knew. Or maybe she was ashamed of him, that he hadn't been able to protect her.

He tries not to scream out as she starts on the second eye. To take his punishment without complaints. Its difficult and he doesn't make it through without some sounds of pain escaping his lips, but compared to before, the change in volume is significant. He tries to catch a glimpse of the real Feferi before everything goes dark, but of course its impossible, and just like that, its gone. He can't see anything. His whole world is darkness and Feferi's helpless sobs. And Sollux couldn't do anything to stop them, to save her, or to show her it was alright. He was so weak.

"F-fuck you." he manages to stammer out. The insult is wavering, his throat tight from silent tears.

<3

[cuttlefishcull.livejournal.com]

When the twin is done she places the red eye next to the blue, looking down to admire the pair before her eyes turn to her handiwork. "Perfect." She says, leaning down and placing a deceptively soft kiss on his lips. "And now you're the way you were meant to be. You're welcome, Sollux."

She stands suddenly, grabbing the front of Sollux's shirt to lift him. "Let's show her our handiwork, hm?" And she walks over to Feferi, practically tossing him besides her. "What do you think? Why don't you tell him how much this new look suits him!"

Feferi tries to choke back a sob, eyes shut. Her twin kneels beside them, grinning viciously. "Aw Sollux, she can't even look at you!"

"Shut up!" Feferi snaps, forcing herself to look at Sollux's blood stained face. "Sollux- I- I'm so sorry." She whispers, shifting her bound hands to grasp the fabric at his chest tightly.

<3

[psionichax0r]

He almost considers spitting in her face when she leans down to kiss him, but doing so would just be an empty sign at this point. Most scorn he'd held towards the Empress vanished when he realized how right she was. He still hated her for hurting Feferi, for using him to hurt Feferi, but he was just as much to blame for that really. For letting himself get caught.

The sensation of being moved against your own will was never pleasant. No one could enjoy being tossed around like a rag doll, but the feeling was somehow magnified when you couldn't see where you were being thrown or even how high off the ground you were. His body was tense, and when he gets tossed, he can't even catch himself. How could he when he has no sense of where the floor is or of how far he is from a wall. The experience of being thrown into what may as well have been a dark abyss is actually frightening in a way. His head hits the wall rather hard and he knows any bruises that were forning there had just been made worse.

He reaches for Feferi, reaching towards the sounds of her crying, but shirks back when her twin says she won't even look at him. That was it wasn't it, she was ashamed of him, disgusted with him. When she grabs his shirt, he stiffens for a moment. He doesn't know if he is going to get tossed again or which Feferi is grabbing him, but when he hears he voice he relaxes. He doesn't know why she is apologizing, and he doesn't know what to say to calm her down again. His eyes hurt and he feels tired. He's lost all energy and he isn't sure if he can do anything other than sit there. He reaches for Feferi's hands, in some attempt to comfort her, but then he thinks she's probably too disgusted with him and puts his hands back by his side again, muttering a soft "S-sorry." to her in the process.

"Please.. let her go." he says, facing the direction he heard the other Feferi's voice from last. Maybe this was enough for FF to go through. She didn't deserve this, getting hurt like this, she was too good for that. "Please." he reiterates, he sounds desperate and pleading. "I'll do anything. I know I deserve it, but..."

He thinks of bowing to her again, and cringes. He isn't sure why the thought is so innately repulsive to him, he doesn't have any dignity left to loose afterall, and maybe if she let Feferi go. If she just let Feferi go maybe he could have done this one last useful thing, to help her, even if ultimately he failed. He reaches out with his hand, and slowly gets on his knees and bows to her. Or at least he really hopes he's bowing to her.

"Please, Empress."

[cuttlefishcull.livejournal.com]

"Sollux, no." Feferi breaths, when he bows. He had reached and pulled back, did he- no. She wasn't going to consider that he blamed her, if he should blame her, she wouldn't give her twin the satisfaction. Not when she had more important things to focus on.

She glances to her twin, cringing at the look of utter delight on the double's face. The twin steps over, grabbing Feferi by her uninjured arm. "I don't know Sollux, I'm not sure you really know you deserve it."

She drags Feferi away, making sure to make plenty of noise with the process, tossing Feferi with a thud against the wall, the metal clatter of her weapon in the stove again. Let him imagine it, settle with the blindness. "I think you should prove it."

Feferi can't help but stare at the heating metal, trying not to fall back into flashbacks and that small room weeks ago. It was easier this time, she had Sollux to focus on, tearing her eyes from the stove to him. "Sollux." She says softly. "Please don't listen to her, you don't deserve this, you never deserved this, I love-"

Her twin cuts her off, sinking the heated metal onto the burns already on her arm. Feferi tries to fight it but she ends up shrieking, the smell of burning flesh and smoke punctuating it.

"How rude, interrupting." Her twin says over the screaming, grinning back to Sollux. "Like I said, prove it. Let's start with you breaking your fingers, hm? The whole hand, then I'll stop."

[psionichax0r]

And oh, his imagination assumes the worst of those sounds. He's nothing if not an absolute pessimist. He cringes, hearing the clatter of her weapon and even more when Feferi screams. Of course Feferi would say something like that. She never got it, she never thought he was as terrible as he really was. He could never really understand why she did that. How she could so faultlessly believe something without even a single doubt. God, she was too good for him.

He gets back onto his legs sitting against the wall before lifting his hand up in front of him. He wishes he had his abilities back right now if only so he could break them all at once, but instead he is forced to go one finger at a time. He works from index finger to pinky, doing the thumb last. Each crack of bone followed by a wince of his own, and sometimes a pained cry. Breaking his thumb is the hardest, he isn't sure why.